For years I asked the incorrect question; the cosmic: Why? Why was I abused as a child? Why were my parents, brothers, sisters, partners addicts and/or alcoholics? There are ten thousand reasons and reasons are not solutions.
One place I turned for solutions and found help was through therapy and 12 step programs. It took me on a long journey with lots of stumbling and resisting. I took it one step at time, one day at time. Eventually the steps started to sink in: I am powerless over any one else. I came to believe in a higher power of me choosing to help restore me to sanity or as I prefer to clarity. Then eventually was able to practice turning my will over to a loving, caring higher power, (not the one I grew up with, that one tends to be rather punishing.) Those are the first three steps that I come back almost every day. Not easy considering when I came into one of these programs, I hated GOD.